And as of the last appointment, the baby closer to my cervix is head down– which is the direction she needs to be in for me to attempt a VBAC. I know I need to be really psychologically determined to manage a VBAC, and I’m not sure how dedicated I am, but . . . still. I was excited to find she’d gotten into position. OB says another 4-5 weeks and she can “almost guarantee” that I’ll take them both home. (Yeah, tell that to Tertia!) Which is all I really want. To nurse immediately and get the hell outta there. And to recover quickly from however they come out. Weights were 3lbs 5 oz (girl/A) and 3 lbs 9 oz (boy/B).

If you’re bored, grab a tape measure. Make a circle by matching the beginning to the 11 inch mark. That’s how big their heads are. Seems huge to me. Yet Big Kid’s head was 14.5 inches.

And yesterday was the baby shower. When I was pregnant with Big Kid, I had very few friends and none were able to attend. Plus spouse and I were estranged so his family wasn’t invited. So it was female family members and then my mom’s friends. And a very depressed me. It’s hazy, really. I just remember being sad and stressed and not able to appreciate a damn thing. Yesterday was the complete opposite. Just about all of my favorite people were there, and I got SO MUCH COOL STUFF. Cute outfits and handmade stuffs and gift certs and a magazine subscription I’d been wanting for a couple months now. There were lots of funny stories and so much laughter. And I’m just sort-of in awe. And only a little afraid of all the thank you notes, lol.

On top of that, a couple of the homeschool moms have been coming by and painting the nursery! I mean, they want to be my friends AND they want to paint the nursery. Inconceivable! It actually brings up all sorts of issues for me because I have th hardest time believeing people will want to be nice to me, and then when they are I get too shocked/choked up to respond in a culturally acceptable manner. But, y’know. All this practicing is not so bad.