8 weeks

Oh, my, they are 8 weeks today. The overwhelming feeling is surprise– one one hand it feels like they’ve been here for as long as I can remember, on the other hand I feel like they’re growing up so fast . . .

Things are going great. I am saying cocky things and getting my come-uppance: BFF talked about how her daughter’s diaper was forever leaking poop up the back, and I kept shrugging and saying “It never happened with Big Kid . . .” and can you guess what happened next? Oh, yes, three giant poops up the back of the diaper (and all over the outfits) in one week. Or I mention that they are sleeping so well (giving me 4 hours stretches!!!) and then they decide Baby Girl will eat at 1am, and Baby Boy will eat at 2am, and Baby Girl at 3am, and Baby Boy at 4am . . . with a bit of fussing thrown in after each feeding for good measure.

But the best part is that in the last week they’ve been making more eye contact. And trying to smile. And drooling. And trying to coo. I LOVE cooing. Yummy one second splashes of song that light up my whole world.

So today’s cocky statement is this: I would say that I feel damned confident and content about 23 hours out of each day. There’s really only about 1 hour cumulative where I am out of my mind overwhelmed and frustrated. I think this is a freaking miracle with one baby, much less twins. But please don’t think that I think that I’m creating this wonder– I think it’s a mix of proper PPD management and pure luck.

Breastfeeding is going well. My lactation consultant said that near-term babies take longer to work out the kinks and it seems to be true– every week I feel like we’re/they’re getting better at it. Baby Girl’s still lagging behind Baby Boy, but I can tell you that she has two chins and chubby cheeks and fat little thighs, so I’m not too concerned.

And now for the confessions: 1) Baby Boy is more demanding than Baby Girl, and occasionally I resent him for it on her behalf. Baby Girl will be due to eat at 2pm, but Baby Boy wakes at 1:55 screaming for boob and so Baby Girl has to wait. And various other things like that. You just feel like she gets shafted. 2) Big Kid, who used to feel just perfect in my arms, now feels offensively huge. And smelly. And his skin is rough. 9 weeks ago he was like a sweet baby to me, but suddenly when placed next to a baby he smells and feels like a KID, and I’m having a hard time adjusting. I feel guilty, especially when he continues to run up to me twice an hour telling me he loves me and I’m the best mom in the world. But I don’t feel as guilty as I would’ve 6 weeks ago, and that makes me feel guilty, too.

Have I mentioned that babies smell good? They smell really good. Mom bought us Dreft and I think there’s something in there that mixes with the cheesy smell of dried breastmilk in just the perfect way . . .mmmmm.